Words that begin with "D"

Decision, Delayed, Disappointment, Dad, Dampen, Danger, Dark, Dawdle, Decreasing and Death to name a few.

Icould add Donor to that list too......but now there are none.

Donor #3 was removed from the list yesterday. It was a personal decision (their own) which "I" have a conflict with (big surprise, right). Donor #2 was removed as well but for medical reasons, as was I.

Donor #3 has a family conflict and requested to be removed as a potential donor. That reason is actually a legitimate reason the medical staff can remove someone from the donor list. Donor #2's decision was based on the limited capacity of the ability to provide care for their family during the tests and after the donation procedure. Which I can definately understand. It was an issue my wife and I mulled over as well.

But "my" issue is that the significant other is not even willing to let donor #3 undergo the tests to determine if donation is even possible. Many will say, "why go through the tests (time/money/false hope) then to pull out if a match is made".....well it is a very valid point. I can't answer that other than if a donation is possible, then the decision can be changed to actually donate.

Now, after my very disorganized (another D word) ramble above, I will try to gather my thoughts and post a more thoughtful and comprehensive blog post.

Okay, I took breath......but it didn't help.

My wife and I offered to put up donor#3 and the family in our house for this whole procedure. (tests through surgery and recovery) as well as food, car/transportation/air fare hospital visits......what ever it took. I also offered to help find employment, which there isn't any currently. That was a huge issue too. Lack of finances for them. Now or after. The option for them to move to Pittsburgh temporarily was floated as well. (I never did get a response).

Our contacts at the hospital pointed us in various directions for financial help. One of the big logistical issues was airfare. There is an organization called Angel Flight www.angelflightamerica.org. They provide free flights via private aircraft across the USA. In some cases, I understood that seats on commercial flights can be obtained.

One question from donor#3 was "who is offering to help?" [in reference to finaces] and the list was short, very short. It wasn't a selfish concern, but since there isn't any employment for them, it's a valid concern. The outlook for employment where they live now, is dim to bleak.

So, what now?

We wait to see if another live donor steps up to donate. But since the family of the recipient has been exhausted, it would have to come from a friend or stranger. Realistically, that won't happen. After that, the recipient has to wait until the health gets to a point where death is imminent. Which at that point, is it really worth it? The body may not be able to undergo such a surgery. Right now, it's healthy enough to survive and thrive (my opinion). In a year. Not so much. Two, three years...........I won't make any bets. But it's not uncommon to be on the donation list for several years. What would the standard of living be at that point? I guess as long as your aren't waking up in a pine box, it is pretty good.

I am not sure if I should mentally be preparing myself as this being the last Christmas and New Year with the recipient. Those of you that know the recipient, will have an issue with this mind set. I am sorry. But for me to be able to function with the current situation. It's what "I" have to do.