Wednesday, November 29, 2006

To see it in print

I received my liver donor workup packet yesterday. It's a compilation of all of the tests I took over the three days I was at UPMC.

Without boring you with all the acronyms and results, of which most I don't even know what they are.....
These results may or may not be accurate. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. But I would if someone asked.

We had some fun reading the REALLY big words (which I won't repeat because you really had to be there).

Here are some excerpts right from the papers:
My Ferritin levels are "442". If I researched right, they normal Ferritin levels are supposed to be between 18 and 270.
"My heart is normal in size and shape."
"There is fatty infiltration of the liver without focal lesion."
"The spleen, pancreas, adrenal glands and kidneys are normal."
"My BMI is 31.9."
"Mr. [ ] is a very pleasant gentleman." (really, it's there!)
"His belly is round." (yes, that's there too)
"Testicles are down. Scrotum is normal." (I laughed so hard at this comment I nearly fell down)

"Status: donor excluded" (This was actually on teh first page, but I thought I would use it as a comedy killer)

There were a few other specifics. They type of liver disease my former recipient has and many more details of the tests that were done on me. Some procedures were also noted.

I have an appointment in a few weeks and will get some answers to my questions. I will post more about the specifics then.

If the above Ferritin numbers were accurate and I understood the results, then I have 2-4 times the amount of iron in my blood than a normal human being. And I always joke about the reason I am lazy is the lead in my ass. But in reality, it's the iron in my blood. WHO KNEW?!?!?

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